New Things

Have you ever wondered why new things are so hard? Maybe you haven't. Maybe new things aren't that hard for you. If that's the case, lucky you. I know they're hard for me.

Like starting a new job. I have to leave to go to work at my new job in half an hour. The thing is, I've never even been in the store I'll be working in. A ex co-worker and friend heard I was still looking for a new job because Planet had become such a negative place for me, and she offered me something. First time I've ever been hired by texting. *smile*

I don't know if it's the fact that I've never been there, that the stress of figuring out a new thing is getting to me, that I've had the last four days off and I just don't want to go do something unfamiliar, or that my last job turned out to suck and I'm scared this one will too, or the fact that I woke up from my first wedding nightmare, but I'm having a disproportionately large emotional reaction to going to my new job for the first time this morning. I can't find my notebook for free-writing, so I figured I'd share with the internet instead.

The wedding nightmare was fun (insert sarcasm here). I was dreaming that we were having it back in BC at my parent's old place, and we had the area at the side and front of the house where the cars usually park all decorated. There were roses in red, white, yellow, and peach strung up making the shape of an open-air tent, and we were getting married the next day. And I suddenly realized that there were so many things left to do - I didn't even have my dress yet, and I had wanted my friend to make it. My mom said not to worry, that we'd go buy one instead, so I went to get a magazine with the pictures of sort-of what I wanted. And I couldn't find it. But I figured I could describe it well enough, so to match colour I took a petal from all the different colours of roses. And then my little brother did something that distracted everyone from going. So first we dealt with that, and then I had to get more petals because the other ones disappeared, which took more time. And then I woke up to my alarm.

I think it was just the feeling of being overwhelmed with all the stuff that needs to be done, and the fear that I won't be able to get it all done. I hate dreams like that, even if I do actually feel that way somewhat. Especially about all the wedding stuff. Planning a party is stressful!

Anyway, off I go to my first day of new job. I'm betting it will be way better than I feel right now *sigh*